Screen Vistas: BONDATHON: MOONRAKER

Things where going so well. The Spy Who Loved Me was a fun, relatively smart James Bond adventure that reaffirms everything that makes the franchise great and even manages to make Roger Moore bearable. This is one of the few times that more of the same would have been wonderful, but alas the movie-gods have given us Moonraker.

The plot will be familiar to anyone who's seen more than one of these before: an experimental space shuttle known as “Moonraker” is stolen while on route to England and Bond (Roger Moore) is sent to investigate. He starts by looking into the company that built the shuttle, run by eccentric industrialist Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale). Drax immediately tries to kill Bond via ethnic henchman and fails. As is customary, Bond meets two women, one with an obscene name who is the love interest, and an insignificant girl who will be killed to show how evil the villain is. This doesn't matter to Bond, who travels the world playing with absurd gadgets before blasting into space for a final confrontation with Drax.

It doesn't take very long for Moonraker to start being bad. Pinpointing the exact moment would be difficult because it's never exactly 'good' to begin with. Instead, the film alternates between boilerplate and off the wall 'what the fuck' moments. This is most evident in the film's Venice section where Bond get's involved in the lamest action sequence of his life. This involves an assassin who operates from a coffin and a boat chase where Bond's gondola climbs out of the water and turns into a hovercraft. If that wasn't ridiculous enough, there are not one, but two reaction shots of local animals being absolutely amazed by this, including a double taking pidgin!

The second silliest thing ever to appear in a Bond film...

...followed swiftly by the silliest thing ever to appear in a Bond film

A long standing criticism of the Moore-era Bonds is that they got a little gadget crazy, and this is the film where it happens. In addition to that ridiculous gondola, we also have poison pens, a watch that shoots darts, a flamethrower perfume bottle and a second boat that turns into a hang-glider. There's plenty more, but you get the idea. As if the overabundant gadgets weren't enough, we are also treated to random fighting monks, weird monologues about orchids and Bond dressing up like Clint Eastwood in Brazil and did I mention the fact that 007 goes into space? I understand how popular Star Wars was in the late 70's, but was it really necessary for Bond to explore the final frontier?

I really don't know who this film was for. Sometimes it's aimed at young children, but on the other hand it still has enough sex to make Hugh Hefner proud not to mention some horrific death scenes involving nerve gas and vicious guard dogs. The last film, The Spy Who Loved Me, was a fun, coherent Bond film. By contrast, Moonraker feels like it was written by a committee of people trying to shoe-horn in every idea they had regardless of whether or not it gels or makes sense for the character.

It's not a total loss, there are two very good action scenes. One involves skydiving and the other is a suspenseful fight atop to cable cars suspended high over Rio, both scenes feature excellent stunt work and can be enjoyed on their own merits.

Also Jaws (Richard Kiel), the great henchman from the previous film, returns. While his reuse here amount's to little more than bad fan service (in an inexplicable twist, he gets a love interest to soften his image), his re-introduction is nice. Drax's primary henchman has been killed and needs to be replaced. Drax calls what can only be described as Henchmen 'R' Us. The idea that there is a henchmen-villain matching agency is one of the few jokes that actually works in this film. Also, seeing Jaws trying to go through an airport metal detector with his steel teeth isn't bad either. I don't know, maybe the comedy angle could have worked if the filmmakers had better jokes and committed to it more.

Reading the novel only makes this film a greater disappointment. They don't have anything to do with each other and this time, it's for the worse. Moonraker the film is the most ridiculous film of the series (until Die Another Day at least) whereas the book is one of the most down to earth of Ian Fleming's cannon. In the novel, Drax is actually an interesting character having reinvented himself from nothing after losing his memory in the war. After becoming the wealthiest man in England he builds his country a nuclear ICBM, dubbed "Moonraker", to protect Britain from her enemies. But his sincerity called into heavy doubt by a game of cards with Bond. It may not be the most cinematic of Flemming's novels, but it is one of the best and following it closer would have certainly given the film some solid footing.

Moonraker isn't the worst of the Bond films, but it may be the most infamous and not without reason. In an attempt to be broader and more appealing to a mass audience it abandons everything that makes the franchise worthwhile. It becomes a flight from logic and sanity, entering an almost dream like realm. Unfortunately it's not a dream I really want to have.

Grade: C-

Moonraker is currently streaming on Netflix Instant.

Enjoy these other Bondathon entries:

Dr. No

From Russia With Love

Goldfinger

Thunderball / Never Say Never Again

You Only Live Twice
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Diamonds Are Forever
Live and Let Die
The Man With The Golden Gun
The Spy Who Loved Me

Moonraker